September 23, Bi Visibility Day: 7 myths about bisexuality

On September 23, we celebrate Bi Visibility Day, and let’s be honest: there are still plenty of myths about bisexuality, even within the queer community itself. “It’s just a phase,” “you just haven’t decided,” “they’ll cheat on you.” Below, we dust off seven of the most persistent myths about bisexual people and explain what’s actually true, simply and without a lecture.

Why myths about bisexuality still exist

Bi Visibility Day has been celebrated since 1999 and closes Bi Visibility Week, from September 16 to 23. It is one of the days in the LGBTQ+ visibility and remembrance calendar that need more light, because bisexuality is often “erased.”

Myths survive because bi people are less visible: people judge based on the partner they see next to them. That’s why it’s worth tackling them one by one. For how this stigma is experienced in everyday life, read our piece on how to overcome the negative stigma of being bisexual.

Myths about identity

1. “It’s just a phase”

For many people, bisexuality is a stable identity throughout their lives. And if someone’s identity changes over the years, that doesn’t make the previous one a “lie.” Self-knowledge is a journey, not a test.

2. “You just haven’t decided”

There’s nothing to decide. Bi is not waiting between two “correct” answers. It is the answer.

3. “Bi men are secretly gay and bi women want attention”

Two myths with the same problem: they don’t trust the person speaking about themselves. Bi men and bi women know who they are, just like bi non-binary people. They don’t owe anyone proof.

4. “If you’re in a relationship with this person, you’re not bi anymore”

Your relationship shows who you love now, not who you are. A bi person in a monogamous relationship, with any gender, remains bi.

Myths about relationships and attraction

5. “Attraction has to be half and half”

Bisexuality is not a scale. Some people feel more attraction to one gender, others change over time, and others don’t even think about it. All of that is bi.

6. “Bi people cheat more easily”

Faithfulness in a relationship is a matter of character and agreement, not orientation. A bi person may want monogamy, an open relationship, or something else, just like anyone else.

7. “Bi means attraction only to two genders”

Many bi people define bisexuality as attraction to more than one gender, and this often includes trans and non-binary people. “Bi” does not exclude anyone. The right term is the one the person chooses for themselves.

How to respond to a myth without a fight

Most of these myths are not said out of malice. Myths about bisexuality like these get passed around through word of mouth, TV shows, jokes, and old ideas. That doesn’t make them any less tiring, but it does give you room to respond calmly, if and when you want to:

• Ask a question back. “Why do you say that?” is often enough to make the other person see their own assumption.
• Talk about yourself, not about “all bi people.” Personal experience is more convincing than theory.
• You are not obliged to educate anyone. If you’re not in the mood, a simple “that’s not true” and changing the subject is perfectly fine.
• If you’re an ally, speak up. Bi people shouldn’t always have to carry the burden.

When thoughts about orientation become anxiety

Wondering about your identity is normal and can even be beautiful. Sometimes, though, the thoughts become persistent, unwanted, and exhausting, with no curiosity in them at all. If you recognize that, it’s worth talking to a mental health professional. We’ve written about five essential things about sexual orientation OCD, which is not the same as being bi.

And if you’re simply looking for the word that fits you, give yourself time. Labels are tools, not cages.

Bi Visibility Day in Thessaloniki

The best way to celebrate the day is to be with people who don’t judge you. In Thessaloniki, Enola, at Valaoritou 19, is open every day from 23:30, with no dress code and no reservation for a regular visit. The safer space policy means zero tolerance for harassment, racism, transphobia, or misgendering, and of course for bi-phobic comments. If there is a themed night, it will be announced on Enola’s channels. You’ll find all the practical details in our guide to Enola.

If you want to see how the rights of LGBTI people are moving across Europe, take a look at ILGA-Europe. And the next time you hear one of these myths, you’ll already have a ready answer.